Arena Maintenance, Letdowns & The Power of Choice
One of the common principles in self-development is the idea that we all have complete agency over how we feel on any given day, in any given moment. Many even believe that changing your emotional and mental state is about as easy as flipping a light switch.
And the reality is that it’s true. Sure, you may not feel that way on a long drive home from a disappointing tournament performance, but the truth is that you can change how you feel in an instant. Take a moment and just ponder what that really means, and how that power can impact every aspect of your life.
Yeah - that’s some real power that you and I have - and we typically wield it without even realizing it. Just by focusing on something that makes us feel happy, excited, grateful, reminiscent, and so on, we can get usually get ourselves into a positive state of mind. On the converse, we can easily get ourselves trapped in a negative state of mind when we focus on things that frustrate or disappoint us.
Take last week’s rocky release of Zendikar Rising, for example. Looking at the big picture, the all-day Arena maintenance that took place on 9/17 was a trivial disappointment. However, it offers some important takeaways and lessons in how our minds can work.
I don’t know about you, but I woke up on the morning of the 17th with that Christmas morning feeling. I had grand plans for ending the work day, cracking open a dank New England IPA and my Zendikar boosters, and maybe even jamming a draft or two. My wife had meetings that evening, it was my off day for working out/running, so I had the whole night to myself. Everything lined up perfectly.
But when 5 o’clock hit, Arena was still doing maintenance, and the platform wouldn’t start for me. I went over to Twitter to see if there were any updates from Wizards, and what I found were countless tweets from players who were pissed that the platform wasn’t up and running properly. Their excitement transformed into major disappointment - and they were venting on social media, giving energy to more negativity. This type of reaction isn’t uncommon.
And yeah, I was disappointed too, but that’s when it hit me: with Arena being down, I now had a 100% free night with ZERO obligations and nothing I had to do. With very rare exceptions, every single night I play Arena, but that night circumstances forced me to take the night off. “Yo, this is a gift, “ I thought to myself.
So that’s when I decided to levy a superpower that we all have: Choice. I asked myself: “How do I want to feel right now - and how do I want to spend this free time?” I decided that I wanted to use the time to read and journal, because I knew that doing so would make me feel productive - which in turn, would make me feel great. That’s when I hit the books and started reading.
I also figured I’d encourage others to take advantage of this time we were given, so I made this tweet.
Believe me, I’m not saying all of this to toot my own horn or seem self-righteous. I can be just as impatient, disappointed and frustrated as anybody else. Instead, I’m saying all of this to demonstrate that we all literally have the power to make ourselves feel any way we want, at any moment in time. A lot of that power lies in our perception and the way we choose to apply meaning to events.
You Determine Meaning
Events and outside circumstances only mean what we say they mean. For example, when you perceive a lousy tournament performance as false evidence that you’re a lousy Magic player, then you’re going to look at the tournament as a negative experience.
On the other hand, if you choose to believe that the tournament helped you learn a ton about gameplay and served to push you further down the path of progress, then that tournament is actually a really positive experience. And really, that’s the TRUTH. In those situations, you have to make a conscious effort to look past the negativity to see the truth, as hard as it may be at times.
If Arena is down on release day and you consciously choose to perceive the downtime as a disappointment, then that’s what it is: big giant let down. But if you choose to perceive the delay as a whole bunch of free time you just got back, then it’s really a gift. That choice is up to you.
Being able to choose the meaning you attribute to events is one of the most critical and empowering life skills you can have. In life, you’re going to encounter some major roadblocks and setbacks. You’re going to face disappointments, you’re going to encounter loss. But your ability to choose what those setbacks actually mean is what will determine how well you bounce back - and how far you’ll actually advance in the days, weeks and months to come.
When You’re In a Rut
Sometimes you’ll encounter situations when no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get out of an emotional rut. Your mind is applying positive meaning to an undesirable experience, but you just can’t get your heart and mind on the same page. Here’s how to cope:
1) Give yourself a breather. It may take 10 minutes, an hour, or even a full day. As strong as your mind may be, sometimes your heart needs extra time to recoup from a loss or setback. Make sure you take that opportunity to relax, eliminate negative thoughts and get your heart to a neutral place.
2) Choose to move forward. As strange as this may sound, you need to consciously decide to move forward after a setback. It can be as simple as saying to yourself, “We’re done here. Time to move forward.” Don’t allow yourself to wallow in negativity for long. Make the choice to pick yourself up, refocus and get back to an active state.
3) Take action towards improvement. From there, identify exactly how you want to feel, and take actions that will make you feel that way. There’s no better way to shake off disappointment, frustration or anger than to do something that makes you feel like you’re growing or improving in some way.
If you need to, change your physiological state. Negative feelings don’t like to hang out with someone who is sitting up straight on the edge of their chair (side note: think about how the way you’re seated can affect your gameplay), or someone who is physically active. Go take a walk or go for a run. Jam some pushups. Do whatever you need to do to get your body in motion.
Actions can literally transform how you feel - for better and for worse.
In closing, remember that the actions you choose to take every day, not just during challenging times, predicts how you will feel in the immediate and distant future. The meaning you choose to apply to different experiences is also a critical predictor of those feelings. And in turn, the feelings and energy you create through those choices and actions determines how well you’re positioned to achieve your goals.
Choose wisely.
