The Real Impact of Negativity and Complaining

Before you read any further, just know that this article isn’t going to be some rah-rah, you-can-do-it! rant on why you need to be positive and cheery all the time. We all know that’s an unreasonable demand to make of ourselves.

Instead, I want to take this opportunity to remind everyone about the power and impact of complaining and negativity. I want to explain just how destructive they really can be to ourselves and to others - and why it’s so important that we aim to avoid complaining at all costs.

We all know that there’s a ton of negativity in the world outside of Magic. For many of us, the game is a way we can get a breather from the everyday stresses of life. But even Magic has been a growing source of negativity lately. Standard hasn’t been a particularly healthy or diverse format in years, and last month’s release of Zendikar Rising showed us that the game is continuing to trend even further in that direction. Bans are the norm, and it’s arguable whether or not they’ve actually been effective in producing a more enjoyable metagame. Oh and by the way, in-person competitive play is still indefinitely cancelled, which is an extremely necessary measure that we have to live with.

So yeah, Magic players have had more than a few reasons to feel disappointed and frustrated lately. Thanks to social media, we can go out and vent our frustrations with the game in front of a global audience. You can even get people to agree with you, and maybe, just maybe, your post will produce the change you want to see.

In many instances though, it won’t. Depending on how strongly you word your complaint, all that your venting will often do is bring negativity into someone else’s day. Think about that for a minute.

In fact, the inspiration for this article comes from a tweet from a popular MTG streamer last week, mentioning how disappointed she was with the overall negativity of her feed. She asked for suggestions of more positive-minded players she could follow, and fortunately she received a ton of replies. You definitely don’t have to look far to find a super positive, follow-worthy player.

The point here is that your negativity can impact others. I’ve sat in on plenty of work meetings where someone was complaining about something, and the next thing I knew I was venting too as a way to relate with them. I’ve also seen it go the other way around. Complaining is definitely contagious.

And really, “venting” and expressing your frustration doesn’t actually relieve your negative energy - it fuels it. Even just one complaint has the power to shift your mental lens so that you’re only seeing the worst in every situation. Just one complaint can set off a chain reaction of negativity that sends your mind in the gutter.

If nothing else, think about how complaining and general negativity can affect your gameplay. Let’s say you’ve had a rough day, you sit down and play Arena, and your opening hand of your first match has no lands. “Game over,” you might think to yourself. On a good day you’d probably say, “ah, go to 6,” and then proceed to win the match. Of course, you have agency in how you perceive and react to variance in Magic, no matter how your day is going (if you haven’t already, check out my previous article on the power of perception).

Be Judicious

Magic may frustrate us from time to time, but how often is it really a good reason for spewing negative energy into the world? So, I challenge you to be more judicious before complaining. Negativity is powerful and costly, so use it sparingly.

Before you type that angry tirade at Wizards or complain about work, ask yourself if it’s really worth putting that negativity on someone else’s feed. Ask yourself if it’s worth bringing that type of poor energy into someone else’s good day.

Ultimately, many things that may seem like a big deal to us simply aren’t worth speaking up about - especially in comparison to the larger issues in the world that we NEED to be speaking up about, such as social injustice and systemic racism. Those are things we ought to be pissed about. Losing your job, losing a loved one, etc. - those are also good reasons to be upset. You get where I’m going here.

Be Careful With Your Words

If you must complain in conversation or make a negative post on social media, choose your words carefully and explain exactly what it is you’re frustrated with, and why. Avoid overly abrasive language and powerful words. Don’t make a situation out to be worse than it actually is.

Insist on Positivity

Furthermore, if you really can’t resist complaining, say something positive first. I’ve talked about the importance of gratitude before - find something to be grateful for, and then see whether or not you still need to voice that complaint. If so, make your complaint and then talk about something you’re excited about or grateful for.

Avoid It

Negativity is everywhere, but you can choose whether or not to indulge in it. You can also choose whether or not to counter it with a positive statement. If someone is complaining to you about something, listen and be empathetic. If it’s trivial, don’t hesitate to change the subject.

Think of negativity as a forbidden fruit. It may feel good to vent or indulge in others’ negativity on something that doesn’t matter - but doing so is literally akin to feeding your mind with poison. Every complaint you make - no matter how big or small, can be enough to set your entire day, week or month off track. And it can do the same for someone else.

What type of impact do you want to make on others?